Lost in the Darkness

He sat there alone in his fifteen by twenty feet single room. The curtains were drawn, the bed unmade, a clutter of dirty dishes everywhere on the floor, and the table. The clothes were strewn at the bottom of the bed, and darkness everywhere. No food left, no money left, the paraffin in his stove had run out. Instead of feeling utterly hopeless, he was happy he at least had some stash of weed somewhere in this mess. He couldn’t exactly remember where, but that’s what he had spent the last of his money on. He was just too high to remember where.

How did it come to this, again? He thought he had beat this. What a joke he was, thinking that he could beat this. He tried to remember where it all went wrong. What point it was that he had managed to throw it all away, but his mind was too fogged up by the high. Instead, his mind went back to three years back in the year 2014. Happier times.

Thursday 15th May, 2014.

He was in rehab two months in, and he was happy. Trying his best to turn his life around. His family was counting on him to beat this once and for all. Surely the time he would spend here wouldn’t be in vain. Especially because he had just come back from his first-ever testimony in front of a group of High School students.

He had tried to make it light-hearted, throwing a few jokes here and there, which earned him a few laughs. It also helped him be more open and less scared. There was nothing like the high of coming from public speaking knowing that you had managed to do it without a hitch. Right then as he arrived back in Rehab, one clear thought ran through his mind “One thing I’m 100% sure of; I’m going to finish this program, come hell or high water!”

How does that saying go, ‘men make plans and the gods laugh’? I can never get it right, it’s something along those lines. If only he knew what awaited beyond those gates of rehab, three years down the line, He would have prepared himself a bit more. However, we can’t see the future and what is to come. That is our lot like humans, all we can do is hope and pray for the best and prepare for the worst, even if the worst is something we can never imagine.

Image by Wadim Kashin follow him on ArtStation.